Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor I'm taking a break from my series on rejection to comment on another matter.
For those of you who might not know, there is an interesting discussion going on in the Psychology Today blogosphere. White's message is that figuring out what you want in a relationship (and being authentic to who you are) is more important than guessing about what others want you to be (and trying to fit those expectations).
I am here to share some coaching advice and guide and support you on your online dating journey: Some dating sites are known and respected for finding love and some are notorious for attracting singles looking for action or a quick hookup.
Based on Social Exchange Theory, here is the general advice I give for successful and satisfying dating and relating. However, you also don't need to obsess about every little detail. So, make sure the exchange you're planning is equitable and fair, for both you and for your prospective partners. 4) Know your dating market (what "they" want) - Here is where you take into consideration what your potential partners might want. See what your options for "trading partners" look like. And, eventually, enjoy a mutually-satisfying interaction :) Go to Plus the fact that the article says advice for (real) men, what the hell does that mean? I mean is she saying that real women only want self confident men? I also think that attending to the specific wants of your desired partner(s) is important too.
1) Figure out what you want - It all starts with you. They get so wrapped up in "finding love" or "pleasing others" that they forget to figure out what they want out of the deal. A general idea of what you would like from a partner is best. But, you don't have to be so vague and guess about all men, women, etc. So, search for the people who match that and find out what they want. 6) Pick an option or reassess your plan - If you find a good deal, go with it. Attraction for more dating and relationship advice (in helpful categories)! Or cant be sympathetic to a man whos self confidence was shatterd for some reason? That is why I was attempting to reconcile the two views. My intention was to put forward a more comprehensive set of instructions that could find the middle ground.
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About the Author: Brooke Lewis Brooke Lewis is a life coach and dating expert.
In a satisfying relationship, BOTH your wants and the wants of your partners matter. Social Exchange Theory is a perspective within social psychology that describes human relationships (Kelly & Thibaut, 1978; Thibaut & Kelly, 1959).
Essentially, according to the theory, the stability of all relationships are the result of each individual making decisions about the following: So, we form relationships with people who give as much to us as we give to them (ratio), treat us in accordance with our expectations (satisfaction), and are our best alternatives at the time and place (dependence).Just remember that you are the only one who has to sleep on your pillow at night and wake up with yourself and your choices in the morning.[image: via shutterstock] Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet?As a single gal in Los Angeles who has been online dating for over 10 years, I have earned my stripes as a dating expert and a dating drama queen.I have experienced and survived all the dramas of online dating and still remain a hopeful romantic.This person cannot be your Mom—you know she’ll tell you that you’re better than the singers on The Voice and that you looked good in those pictures from college after you gained the freshman fifteen. I cannot count nor tell you how many times men have asked me for lingerie or bikini shots, but I can tell you they are the men I am looking to date.